Sunday, April 14, 2013

Very long awaited blog update

Well, unintentionally this blog, AJHL updates, NWJHL attempted updates, and work on Elite Prospects really went out the window the last few months. A lot of people close to me, thought/assumed it was due to my work with the Kings - but it was mainly an especially hellish February & March for me offline especially, and a barely better start to April thus far  But, besides my explanation below - I'm 'turning the page' and starting a bit of a 'new [old] chapter' in my life... and I guess we will see how the months ahead of the 2013/14 season go before I really know what's going on for me.

I've actually spent the majority of this weekend in bed - actually about 3/4 of the hours or more, I'd say (as much of an exaggeration as it looks, I kid you not!) since getting home from the pharmacy after a 3rd doctor appointment for it in the at least 5 week duration of it so far. It improves, then bang... worsens to the point of it's worst. I cant decide honestly if I'm worse now than in the first week to two weeks of it, or if I've been worse this weekend... cause it's pretty close. Easily the worst sinus cold/head cold/throat & chest cold of my entire life... and add in what seems to be a pretty severe tobacco smoke allergy, and it just adds to that immensely. All this sick time unfortunately/fortunately has left me with a lot of time to think, and over think  and stress, and you name it...

But, in the midst of everything and especially after the Storm & Athletics were eliminated from their league playoffs - the time and work with the Kings was just about the only good going in my life. I loved being around the players and feeling like I was part of 'their' group, at least. Was great being part of their first NWJHL championship, great to have the opportunity to go to Provincials.

I'm not going to go full out angry venting publicly, that's for sure... but let's just say the whole experience post-NWJHL championship with the Kings (next to no communication with me, at all) has left me with a complete sour feeling/taste in my mouth about doing any sort of volunteer work anymore at all. I just came to feel that I was trying my hardest and in the end it felt like I was taken for granted for that, and due to working hard & doing my best - which is normal me when I really enjoy what I was doing. But after it, I kind of am 'done the season' so to say... with a bit of a hurt/used feeling after everything.

Through it all though - I was 100% behind the players (through it all I kept tweeting for the boys and supported them all I could that way), but due to other factors I barely felt like I was with the organization most of the time in Wainwright for Provincials. And I eventually started doing my own thing - and enjoying the Provincials and Wainwright due to that. If it wasn't for one of the players calling me over at Boston Pizza the last night we were all in town, and involving me in a team bonding prank (as I'll call it), and the good times after... I kid you not, I was planning to stay for the remainder of the Provincial Jr. B tournament in Wainwright and enjoy the full tournament. I only missed 1 full game of Provincials up until that time at BP's, and I was about 99% set on staying in town until at least hours after the tournament or even longer if something came up - cause I really made the best of my time out in Wainwright & around the Peace Memorial Multiplex (home of the Jr. B Bisons, and a twin rink arena in Wainwright) and absorbed the atmosphere and everything as much as I could. I more than happily would have stuck around and helped out if the opportunity arose to do so.

The real sad thing about the above pass... I didn't even get it through/with the team... I ended up getting it myself. No one ever did talk with me about any of the frustration I was going through (even since - and we've been back already a week)... there's where I really felt my value/feeling used & taken for granted, and there's where I, in the end, really feel sour about volunteering at all anymore.

That kind of echoes onto here... and with the Storm & Athletics also... I'm just not sure what I'm doing at all anymore. In the end I've been doing way too much, and getting nothing out of it to help myself. If anything I've just been spending more money - and that ain't right. All I've been getting is experience... and experience doesn't pay for anything...

But what I've come to decide, is well... things made the most sense for me working wise, pre-move back to GP (Aug 31st) when I was updating the NHL daily/nightly ahead of their BS lockout that I'm still a bit sore about (and that #HockeyisBack slogan - like honestly... it was like every other person playing hockey when the NHL wasn't - were nothing and meant nothing! Pretty ignorant & senile if you ask me.). But before I get back to there, I want to do my best to catch up on/finalize stats for the AJHL & NWJHL - maybe I will post a completely or finished part 2 of that never ending AJHL update I was doing for weeks until I totally lost track of it.

Honestly, things were going great for me and making sense for those first 5 months back in GP also (Aug 31/12-Jan 31/13) - I was unable to keep up with what I started working on in September on Elite Prospects, unfortunately, in mid-late November (I was updating around 10 leagues bi-weekly I believe on set days) and did my best to keep up daily AJHL updates until around January 28th (a day after joining the Kings organization). That just so happens to be the same day a relationship started deteriorating for me, and a bit of a snowball effect ensued until well... maybe it's lowest point in mid March, and around that point I ended up getting this cold I'm still suffering with.

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But like I said... turning the page, so to say. Back to work on EP, like before. Two weeks left in the bowling league  - the playoffs. And the challenge of handling that and the newly started ball hockey league... that was a challenge, but I handled it better than I expected. Never played in any sort of organized hockey league, and got placed on division 8 of 10 in the GPMBH (GP Metro Ball Hockey) league. I figured it'd be over my head skill wise, and it was alright... just endurance wise was a real challenge. I barely had any energy left for the second half of the league debut - but, so did most of our team as we were badly shorthanded and out of shape. But hey, I got an assist on our first goal (Thundercocks #94 - we were just given random #s and I decided if I got the A I'd keep Smitty's #, instead of my usual 28... and sure enough) so I'm not doing too bad! Just gotta get some endurance going & get back to biking when I get rid of this cold. If anything, I've got one big similarity with Smyth - rocking the hair... haha!

But enough typing for now... time to fix a few things, some cleaning, and I've got to get back to online work. I've struggled with focus there since late January, and it's about time I got back to normal there already!